Monday, January 9, 2017

Lets talk about the weather....

Just cause I wanna make it a quick post.

The weather is crazy.  Just crazy.  We had 70's last week and then we had that depression come in and swipe us with 20's and 30's.  So cold.  So unacceptably cold for Texas.  We don't do that here.

However, we are getting our temps back to normal this upcoming week with some upper 60's and low 70's.  Thank goodness.  Maybe that was our winter??

I took Bobbie to the duck pond and took a second look trying to figure out why the water was so choppy from the wind in some places and not in others.  Turns out a large sheet of ice was in the middle of the pond.  It looked pretty cool.

These are cell phone photos so don't expect anything great.  Stay warm out there.

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

So Puzzle me this...

We have company in town and decided to go to one of those "Escape Room" activities.  We did this about a year or so ago and ended up in a room with 3 really stupid people we didn't know.  This go we entered the room without any add ons, just with ourselves.  This makes communication so much better.  No need to pretend to be nice to someone you think is about as clever as a plant.

It was a good Monday.   What a ridiculous photo, but truly a really nice night.  Wizard hats but it sort of looks like dunce hats.  I need a lot of 2017 to be like this.  A challenge but pleasant with no devastating consequences if perfection isn't met.  If I'm forced to wear a dumb hat at the end of it I'll take it so long as we all walk away with smiles on our faces and love in our hearts.

Monday, January 2, 2017

Welcome to this new world....

2017.  Welcome.

Normally I would take a moment to review the past year but quite frankly I simply can't and won't do that to myself.  Maybe I'll look back on it in 12 months, 24 or 36.  But not right now.

I'm reluctant to say how I feel about this upcoming year.  I hope.  I hope for so many things.

Primarily I hope to regain some semblance of myself.   Balance, we all wish for more of that right?

I did see an article somewhere that mentioned using the terms "it's not a priority" instead of "I don't have the time".  I'm going to start incorporating that in my life.  I think it puts attention on the words and I may pay closer attention.  If something is not a priority---should it be??  If so, then I should make it so.  If not, then maybe I should delete it.  Maybe I should find a way to simply remove those objects or hurdles so I don't have to keep coming back to them and saying " I don't have the time for that..."

Also, what about the people who use that language with us?? I don't have time... That is just another way for someone to say that you or spending time with you is not a priority.

I signed up for a 12 week weight loss challenge which will begin in a couple weeks.  Hopefully that wasn't just throwing money away.  I feel like taking control of this weight and exercise thing will be helpful in me grasping my particles and pulling them all back together.

Politics.   I, like the rest of American is tired of it and don't want to hear any more but I suspect that is just something that wont be quiet this upcoming year.  It can't possibly be as bad as 2016.  Can it?

There are some good things on the horizon, but for now I'm just grateful for this 3 day weekend and everything else is just not a priority right now.

Sunday, December 25, 2016

So where is Santa anyhow???

Today is Christmas for most Christians.  Me too, but we are tempering our celebrations till mid week.  We are having folks fly in and my granddaughter will be here and we will unwrap presents and do all the food gorging at that point.  I'm looking forward to it.

Today however, is quiet.  The weather was beautiful so it was a perfect day to take my pup to the park.  My old lady loves it so much as I don't make her go on a leash.  Yes, I'm that annoying woman who doesn't put her dog on the leash.  Gaaaaaaahhhh.  Look at that dogs face.  She loves to run and sniff and she is so passive and so submissive its not like she would ever approach a person anyways.
She has no prey drive so there is no worry she will be chasing any squirrels or rabbits and she is so mindful she will only approach another dog if I let her.  I promise she is better trained than your spouse.  It makes Tom nuts though and I understand.  But look at her face!!!

We got a call from Emma though.  Wishing us Merry Christmas.  I love that little bird. Her primary goal of the conversation however was to let us know that Santa had not been to her place today and she was wondering if he possibly had left presents at our house.   Of course she will have Christmas at our place this week. She is only 7 about to turn 8 and it hurts that Santa left her hanging today.

Dear 2017.  Hurry up.

Tuesday, December 6, 2016


 I shouldn't write this post.

I shouldn't hit save and then publish.

I shouldn't.

I'm heartbroken at the moment.  Truly heartbroken.  Lubricated a little with some Irish Cream and some dark rum.  So much crying and sobbing tonight.

Hoping truly that this blog has been forgotten  Yet needing.  Needing so much release. I hope these words aren't read, yet need so much to connect to someone who may understand ...but I feel certain there can be no connection..No understanding....

So lonely.  So lonely.  Truly these feelings must be attributed just to me.  

I feel.   Misery loves company...but nobody can feel this...really.   Oh dear lord my heart hurts so.....

My daughter, part of me is so hardened.  I hate her.  Those are the words.  The real words.  I hate her.  I hate her.

Shocking.  A mother. Yes.  A mother.

She truly has done he things to earn that hate...but then in my mind I see the 3 year old little girl..My knees buckle.  I love her so...I love her so..I hate her so..Dear lord...I cry...Help me.

I love this soul that came from my being.  I love her so much. I wanted the world for her..I wanted \everything  for her......  THe whole world..She is so  precious  I don't know ..I just dont know how she got to be the present day....How...I'm sorry.  I'm sorry to her....I'm sorry to the world, I'm sorry to her daughter who of all....deserves a better mother.  I'm so sorry.  I cry, I sob.  It's not enough.  I'm so sorry. I just don't know...

Sunday, February 1, 2015

Dumping the Fat Clothes...

well, that and some of those 80's and 90's clothes I've never been able to separate from.  Like that wonderful red blazer with black lapel and shoulder pads and rolled up sleeves.  I really thought that one would come back.  It looked great on me.   Yes,  I finally gave it up.

But in all seriousness, I know I'm not supposed to call them fat clothes.  But they are the clothes I wore at my upper most spectrum of weight (politically correct enough?)  I hope I'll have to do 1-2 more dumps from my closet along the way.

My real epiphany during this purge is "Why did I have all these?"  Last time I lost a large amount of weight I didn't purge anything.  All my pants were just put away.  So when the weight came back on it never hindered me.  I never really had to stop and evaluate where I was.  I was never at the store saying "Oh my gosh another size higher AGAIN?"  I kept all the smaller clothes and just pushed them further back in the closet with the hopes that I would see them again.

My closet looks great now.  I still have a ton of stuff in there all the way to 2 sizes smaller from what I am now so definitely hope to do another dump run.  When I'm done and at my final size I will likely keep some clothes one size up, because I don't think it's reasonable to mentally punish myself for some minor weight fluctuation.  But I do want to make it difficult to gain a large amount of weight again without at least some accountability. 

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Now for a message from our sponsors....

Not exactly a sponsor (I wish).  Possibly this could be noted as a product review. 

So, here is the important thing, I got a Christmas present that I really, really like.  It's the Fitbit.   Good timing since I'm trying to gear up my walking again and I keep buying pedometers that I hate.  At 15-20 bucks a pop those things add up and they are taking up space in the kitchen junk drawer.

This is sleek and stylish (not exactly).  I don't really care about the style factor, I do wear it all the time however.  It's water resistant so you can go in the shower with it.  I don't think you can submerge it in a tub however.

It keeps me accountable but not OCD.  I usually use the program it downloads to on my laptop.  It feeds into my phone as well but I really don't use that.  It does have a handy barcode reader for logging food.  Technology is amazing.

I only log my weight in the mornings and by afternoon I take a look to see where I stand. There are rules to weighing in.  Wake up, go to the restroom, strip off any undo weighty clothing and step on the scale.  Never weigh in after that.  There will be coffee and water ingested and could affect ones weight to the point that I would curl up in a fetal position on the floor and cry.

Typically I walk the dog after work and then I can get a good understanding if I need added time outside or if I need to tackle the dreaded treadmill.  I hate the treadmill.  I usually watch Netflix while I'm walking but I still hate it.  A lot.

This week has been beautiful outside so that has been available to me but I've really been getting home late so I have only had limited time for that.  So the treadmill and I usually at least have some time together.  It does force me to RUN.  Admittedly it's always been my mantra that I don't run.  My body doesn't like it.  I can't run for very long and it's a bit stop and go for me.  However, I may hate the treadmill more than running.  If I run I get my steps faster, also there is the whole panting, dry heaving gasping thing which is really great.

I just recently learned that most all calories burned leave the body from one's lungs.  I read this and then my doctor confirmed this.  That's crazy I didn't know this.  I figure running is a better way to work out my lungs than hyperventilating in a bag.  Well, actually I haven't tested the hyperventilating in a bag thing.  If it works in losing weight someone please let me know cause I can do that in the car while going to work and back. It's a bit too weird looking? Not exactly private like doing Kegels huh?  

Anyway,  get a Fitbit.  We can be friends in fitbit world and motivate each other on, or make fun of each other.  Guess which one I would do?