Sunday, February 28, 2010

Good Grief (306)

I don't cook. I don't bake either. I'm not good at it and I don't like to do it.

I did however see this and wanted to try it. I told Lauren it was a Gay Pride cake. Right now we have about 10 boxes of Girl Scout cookies in the house so I didn't want to make a huge cake...Hence the reason for the ridiculous proportions on this one. About 4-5 inches in diameter and about 8-9 inches high...hehe

I'm still heavy in thought so I do want to talk about grief and loss. Specifically as it is related to a child. I don't mean grief from the loss of a child which I'm sure is completely unbearable. The grief I'm talking about also usually sudden and devastating.

Just some examples..having a child drop out of school, having a child be diagnosed with Aspergers or OCD or JRA, having a child determine they are gay, having a child sentenced to jail for a significant time, having a child tell you they are atheist or telling you they are having a mixed race baby . (Don't start messaging me telling me how offensive it is to compare autism to a child being atheist or being gay is comparable to having a child go to prison. I'm not comparing any of these things to each other---depending on the individual or family or culture, different things will impact different people)

Then the stages of grief begin.

Denial--that's pretty obvious one. There is a mistake of some sort huh?? That usually passes in an instant however, we know our children.

Anger--Yes, there is definitely Anger. Cold, Biting Anger. This generally lasts much longer. (especially for us used to having our own way)

Bargaining--I guess it depends on the situation, and I personally think it happens before Anger....but I guess some of the stages can sort of roll over each other and take place simultaneously. Again, there is the time when you feel like you can fix this and it won't be real.

Depression and Acceptance---I find these 2 steps to be the most important. An overwhelming sadness. Knowing you have to move on to acceptance but spending some time wallowing in this disappointment. In most of these situations everything is the same as it was before you received 'the news' but it isn't. Everything is suddenly different. Or is it.

I don't mean to babble in circles. But the child is the same child as 10 minutes before you heard the news. What has happened is a dream has died, ripped away from us. The dreams and expectations that we have for our children. From the moment the child is born we dream and envision their future. Nurturing and fostering those dreams. We always want the best for our children and that means we want life to be smooth and easy...not 'challenging'. We parents don't want to give up our dreams, it is a very painful thing.

And then there is acceptance. Always acceptance. We love our children and once we have accepted what the reality is, we get busy again doing what we can to help make good futures for our children. Ultimately our goal is for them to be happy and that is our number one dream for our children.

I think the psycho dudes forget one on their list however.....That is Guilt. We feel guilty and think we could have done something different. Guilty about the things you've said or done in reaction to the event. Guilty that you ever felt grief and had to take time to get to acceptance. That ever present guilt is there through the whole grief experience.

Oh well....theres always cake.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

The Sun came out...(307)

Today was one of those Texas days that you don't want to end. Beautiful sun and sky. Perfect temperature. Just a day that made me feel good.

We got so much done. First we went to the bank and Em was totally that kid. The wild one that runs around and sings and spins in circles. I was amused. Luckily the bank was empty so the employees in the bank didn't seem too annoyed.

Then we hit the 'Kid to Kid' and got this great little denim jean jacket for a dollar. I automatically thought it would be fun to use with the tutu, and I was right. We went to Lauren's softball game and took these shots at the adjacent park. Even with her shoes off she still was at 150 mph and I had a tough time getting shots of her.

Now it's time for Laundry....................

Friday, February 26, 2010

What's in a Name?? (308)

I've been looking for these fridge magnets for a while. I really like them. I think it's a Vtech or Leappad product. It tells you what the letter is and the sound it makes... M is for mmmmmmmm.....cute song, cute music...cute cute cute...

Now, let's talk. It's been a bad day, but that has generated a couple subjects I want to rant about. My own lovely soap box here. I'm not ready to talk about some of these subjects..but let's just name one.

What's in a name?? It's so sad, but in today's society there isn't the same level of pride and legacy associated with the surname as it used to be.

Your family name is one that get's passed on from generation to generation. It used to be important, your birthright. One could garner integrity and trust with a name. Honesty, hardworking and godly were some things people used to like associating with their last names and the lineage of their families. This is not such an old fashioned thing, it wasn't so many years ago. There are still people who care about these things as there is such a resurgence in geneology and looking back at our pasts. Finding links in our line of heritage and excited pride at our family trees. Why as a society are we not taking pride in our futures and where our family lines are leading?? Are we forced to look back because looking forward is not a pretty sight?

Not so many years ago if someone had sex before marriage they had the decency to keep it private. Nobody even considered taking something that didn't belong to them. Teens did not go to jail and I don't think I even knew where 'juvie' was located. Guys punched each other but never used weapons to settle arguements. If someone inhaled anything it was in the vein of experimentation and nobody had to go to detox. If a girl got pregnant she still got to go to the same school as the rest of us, but she did not go to the same classes and she sure enough didn't continue to be a cheerleader or represent our school in any way. Probation officers were not a right of passage. The worst thing that I recall is a guy named Tom handing the police officer a fake ID when he got pulled over for speeding (not my Tom). If something 'unfortunate' did happen it was kept private within the family and these shortcomings weren't worn as badges of honor or talked about as if they were war stories. It was not funny and it wasn't deemed somebody elses fault.

All of these things were shameful, not just for the guy or girl who had this downfall but for the whole family. It caused pain for everyone involved. People would actually be 'disowned'. Now people drag their names in the worst mire out there and then they have the nerve to have a baby and think it's ok. Passing on a name and legacy that's so scarred. A little one won't notice right away, but eventually....eventually they figure out if their mom or dad are trash. They figure out pretty quickly that there is no reason to respect this person. What footsteps do they have to follow?? A hollow inheritence lacking integrity or honor.

So, today I'm saddened for the child who is weighted with a tarnished name and shortchanged of the sense of family pride.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Chugga, Chugga...(309)

Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing with this blog. Where is this going, what is it intended to do.
Initially I thought it would be a good place to post photo's of clients photos that I could post. Although I'm quite pleased at the shoots I was able to do this year, it didn't shoot as much as what I had initially imagined. I seem to be ok with this however. I still love to shoot and I'm still shooting and things are growing. (not as quickly as I'd like however) So, as for the blog. Hmmmmm.
Well, I think it's time to turn the corner and pull the gloves off. Let's really get to know me. Let's embrace the Snarkyness and throw PC to the wind. Yep, I think it's gonna get a bit more interesting here. We'll see...maybe this is still my disgust of February.
You may not like may like it. I encourage your response, make it real though---snarky, sarcastic, witty, fun. Send it at me.
For now I'll say the Olympic skating was beautiful tonight. And how about Curling--do you watch that?? Go ahead and tell me you do so I can make fun of you....

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Bad Photo, Good Story (310)

Leaving for work out of our alleyway this morning and I spot this blue bird. I'm trying to get set up and just take the shot from my car. I'm still sitting in the alleyway and I haven't moved into the roadway. I'm a perfect distance away, close enough for the shot but far enough not to frighten the birds away.
Suddenly 'honk honk'.....oops. I'm blocking the alleyway and apparently my neighbor wanted to leave as well. I don't think he understood the dilemma I faced. So, I didn't get a good shot and the neighbor thinks I'm an idiot. Yea Wednesday!!

Little bit of decay...(311)

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Take it Kronk....Feel the Power (312)

"OH, I can feel it" ..."Our moment of triumph approaches! It's dinner time". (This is an excerpt from The Emperor's New Groove)

Anyways, I drive by this location once in a while and there have been several times on pretty blue sunny days I've specifically gone by to shoot these fishy fountains. Everytime, the fountain is off and no spitty fish. Who decides when they are on or off?? Who get's that power??

So, the day is gray and the lighting is not pretty but the water is running so I figured I'd shoot while I could. Oh well.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Oh so worth it...(313)

There is a chance of snow through the night. How bizarre.

In the meantime, here are the parents of little bear. Really a beautiful family. They are young though, and it will take strong effort to grow up while raising this boy.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Little Bear...(314)

Remember this little bear??? How quickly they change. He's 5 months now and still as sweet.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Beep Beep.... (315)

"Red Punch Bug, No Punch Backs!!!!"

Tom and Lauren are obsessed with this game. I've learned quickly how to cut my eyes at them to keep them at bay from me. They know "mama don't play that". As if I need either of them punching me in the arm--yes, I'm afraid. So far I've been able to keep them from punching the baby, but I don't know how long I can keep her safe.

Every woman for herself, she's gonna have to learn how to protect herself soon.

Do you play this game?? I'm assuming if you answer me that it will probably be with a resounding "NO" since your probably not an 8 year old little boy.

How about "I spy with my little eye...." (I spy a pack of cigarettes in this photo, which I seriously miss some days--but that I will leave for another blog entry)

Friday, February 19, 2010

Location Reconnaissance (316)

Woohoo, check out that big word.

I went out to Addison Circle today and looked around. That place has a lot of potential for photos. I'm looking forward to exploring it further when spring approaches. As it stands today was a gray gray day. So it was just best to convert these all to Black and White.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Hidden Treasure (317)

I found a little wooded park and stream area near work today. I don't quite understand it as it's a "park" but there is no place to park and you really need to walk in to get there. Of course, I don't mind parking in front of someone's house and behaving like I belong there. The houses in this area are very large. I'm sure they come with quite a price tag on them as well. However, they appear to have been built possibly in the 70's or early 80's. They have that modern art deco design going on and I half suspect they still have gold appliances with orange shag rugs. Actually I'm sure they don't but they are so large and so ugly. Below is a peice of yard art that I spied in one of their back yards. What the heck are those water bottles attached to the side of the unicorn?? Crazy.

But, back to the point. This park is a definite hidden treasure. Nobody was there and when I started on the path it became suddenly quiet with nothing but the birds and water to listen to. This is a very old and established neighborhood so the trees were some of the tallest I've seen since being here. I look forward to going back over the next several months as the weather breaks to see what I can see. As it was there were just these ugly little birds and quite an active beehive. The hole into the tree was about 8-12 inches and there were tons of bees going in and out. I was just too chicken to go closer.

PS--I just blew up that on it!! Those are Vodka bottles. And the graffiti is all Vodka related. What. Where is my back yard unicorn???

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Socialist Duck (318)

Today Emma and I had an early appointment. Had about an hour to play with after the appointment till I had to take off for work. Still it didn't seem enough time to drive all the way home just to reload Emma in the car to take off again.

So, I stopped by the 7-11 for a loaf of bread and we headed for the Duck Pond. I had glimpsed an article somewhere about a kid saving a baby duck and figured it would be fun to see if our Duck Pond had any babies yet. (It didn't)

This was Emma's first visit to feed the duckies. It was really pretty today and crisp out, not too cold.

So, we arrive and I attempt to teach Emma how to feed the Duckies.

As you can see in the photos Emma decided she didn't want to share, she actually tried to run away so she didn't have to give the duckies her bread. As a matter of fact she says to me "Grandma, why should I give them my bread? Why can't they get their own bread?? Papa says socialism is wrong and the downfall of our country, the left winged liberals with their welfare system"

"I try to explain to her that ducks are not socialists, they simply have been exploited for many generations and don't have the where with all to provide for themselves and their families adequately. We have caged their species and taken their eggs and served them for dinner since the beginning of time. This bread giving is simply reparations"

Emma says "BS grandma, that's chickens not ducks." She then proceeds to call me a bird racist and wonders why I think all birds look alike.

Smart Ass kid.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Hair de Hair Hair.....(319)

I cut some bangs in Emma's hair. I was tired of all that hair in her face. We tried every clippie we could find and still that hair would end up creeping into her face.

As for Lauren, her hair was quite a bit pricier than plopping her on the kitchen counter for a trim from me. It was embarrassing what it cost and I'm pretty sure we were ripped off. They cut off about 15 inches in length and had several layers of colors they applied. I think it was worth it and hope in the long run her naturaul coloring will ease it's way through. This is certainly closest.
Ever know your paying too much for something but end up coming to terms and paying for it anyways???? Are you conservative in the choices you make with your hair or do you try brave new things figuring "it's gonna grow out anyways"???

Monday, February 15, 2010

Wrapping up the Goodness (320)

I think this is my last posting with snow photos. It was fun while it lasted.

We shall resume our regularly scheduled programming on this blog tomorrow. A series continuation of "February Sucks" and "Where is Spring already??".