Friday, December 24, 2010

With Bated Breath.....

I don't even have a photo for you.

I just decided to write while I had a minute.  I know I've been MIA on this blog and I hope that changes soon, but who knows huh???

So, I decided to blog about just that.  We are ending 2010 and heading right into 2011 but I feel like it's way premature to do that.  I feel like there are too many loose ends and I am having trouble wrapping my head around the fact that a new year is coming.

I can look back this year and say it's been good to me.  Really really good.  Not that every thing that has happened has been good necessarily--but I feel overall good about who I've been and what I've done.  (maybe this is selective memory setting in??)

 A friend talked to me about the movie/book 'Eat, Pray, Love' and asked me what my word was.  I told her for now I think it's 'change'.  Good and Bad change.  Controlled and sometimes Not Controlled change. Maybe this is what being in ones 40's is about?? I've seen other 'mature' women discuss this decade as the best--how great would that be? But overall I've been at peace with the change no matter what it's been.

With all that being said why can't I go into this New Year?? Oh, but of course I can and will--it's gonna happen like it or not right??

This year past has been one of unanticipated goodness.  Unanticipated being the key word.

--I took control of this weight issue and surprisingly found how good exercise can feel.  All this walking gave me the unexpected opportunity to foster an existing friendship which became very important to me.
-- Lauren had a great softball season and really moved onto a new level and that was rewarding to watch happen.  We got to give her some new experiences which is always fun (softball trips, rocky horror, flashmob)
--Emma got to go back to live with her mom full time which was years sooner than we had considered. Tom and I love her so much but had almost become resigned to raising her forever and that isn't exactly what we had wanted for ourselves.
--We had a great trip out east to spend with a nice old man for his birthday (haha), Tom treated me to the phototrip in Caddo, and I had some good trips to and from Dallas which caused some nice experiences with family this year.  There are some family members who I hadn't been close to in a particularly long time and I feel like I got some really good time to enjoy them.  Not to mention "Wow" to social networking which allowed me to reconnect with folks I never would have thought I wanted to reconnect with.  That's actually been a sweet little gift.
--Tom and I financially & emotionally had a ton of 'bad luck' things pop up but we somehow managed (kinda like real grown ups do it).  In todays economy and things we've all seen happen I'm very grateful and we somehow continue to be blessed.

Oh, I know there's more but these are the things that are rolling around in my head right now.

So now, here comes 2011.  I feel like this upcoming year isn't beginning but that it's already a work in progress.  There are so many things that I already scheduled and that can be anticipated but I'm nervous.  Will those things turn good or bad??  Some things I know (yet don't know)...

We are taking Lauren to Pennsylvania for her college softball tryout at the beginning of February.  This is her top choice right now and honestly Tom and I want this for her so much. She's been accepted to the college and she just needs to be offered a spot on their team now.   This one makes me want to vomit.  Really can we just be done with this??? 

Lauren is graduating on June 3rd.  There are things that have to be done before then but there are also decisions that need to be made regarding graduation parties, proms, beach weeks and such.  I should admit that I've mentally assigned her senior class with the slogan "Don't Die and Don't get Pregnant"!!  I just want to be there already with no damned tragedy's!!!

Lauren leaves for college. I 'feel' like this is an easy one for me.  I 'feel' like I will cope with her being gone and will be happy for the next steps she will be taking.  (albiet nervous for her roommate who has to deal with the smelly child)  But maybe I don't know myself so well.  Maybe it will be harder than what I anticipate.  Maybe her being gone will ease my mind of fears I have for her safety and well being or maybe it will make me even crazier!!

Emma is living with her mother and the new boyfriend/fiance.  My mother is also in the house with them.  This could either be a good thing and bring peace to a very ugly situation, or it could all blow up in such a choatic explosion of drama. Truly a mental asylum with a cute baby in the middle.

Tom and I will have so much more time for each other.  Will we use it to be together or will it just be easier for us to do our own things and cause a seperation??

Not to mention where does this put us financially?? Will this be a better or worse year??

Midyear, I will be applying for a new job at my work.  It would be a step in a completely new direction.  10 weeks of intense training for this old brain to take in.  Can I handle this?

I'm mentally challenging myself to recommit to becomming 'fit' and then take it out to the world in the form of a run or marathon of some type.  I hope I don't let myself down on that.

AAAAAAHhhhhhh, It was the best of times- it was the worst of times....hence the reason I wait with bated breath.....................................in the meantime,

I hold up my glass of Eggnog to you.  My friends and my family.   You become more important all the time and I Love You. 

Merry Christmas.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Weekend Wonderland.....

This weekend was great.  Emma is not quite 2 years old and this is her first 'real' Christmas.   We spent all weekend introducing her to all the traditional Christmas activities and she is hooked already.

The first stop was the mall to sit on Santa's lap.  The line only took 60-90 minutes to get through (we didn't stand in line, we made Tom do it).  You know how kids get so excited they almost cry they are so beside themselves with excitement--yep, that's what happened.






After that was the decorating of the Gingerbread house.  This is Lauren's big thing.  She decorates it every year and takes it very serious.  Lauren didn't appreciate Emma grabbing every JuJu Gummy should could get ahold of and cramming them into her mouth.   Emma finally got the hang of it and after I gave her some Dora snacks she agreed to leave the candy's for the decorating.

After dinner and a bath it was time to decorate the tree.  She really liked this part.  Isn't it funny how they always manage to get 18 decorations onto the same 3 limbs??  Then we went driving around looking at lights.  She wasn't so impressed the the lights as she was the blow up characters, specifically every blow up Santa out there.  Every road we would drive down she would start yelling 'more lights grandma, more lights'..I think I'm gonna get a blow up Santa for her room.

I wasn't gonna tell this story, but I have to do it as I lack all self control.  Emma's mom is now with someone who is a Jehovahs Witness and that is apparently what they'll be doing at their home from now on.  Eh, whatever--in my personal opinion I just think- oh well, they are Christians and that is important to me. Can I just say Emma will be a lousy Jehovah---that little girl adores every iota of Christmas and grandma is feeding into every whim and fancy of her's.  We plan on ruining her with Birthday's, Easter eggs and the pledge of allegiance as well.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

If you can't get rid of your skeletons,

You'd best teach them to dance.....
Just a find in the woods.  I don't know what it was, but more significant in size than the photo makes you believe.  Probably the size of a dog.  I didn't even poke around it with a stick, how's that for self control.